Bad mama

Isaiah burnt his hand last weekend. I let him sit on the counter and watch me cook. He leaned over to say something to me and put his hand on the stove top that I had turned off earlier but was still hot. Poor baby. He was hurting so bad and crying. He couldn't keep still because is hurt, and I felt like such a bad mama. I was supposed to have both kids alone that day while Michael went to see his mom but luckily he came back to help me with them after I had a meltdown crying to him on the phone because I felt so awful. :(

After Motrin and a hour of kissing and blowing and icing it, he finally ate some lunch. I got him to take a nap and then when he woke up he was all better. Until he got it wet in the bath. Then it was more kissing and icing. 

My poor baby. Michael said at least he knows not to touch it. But I still felt bad. I felt bad because I should have been watching him more carefully. Shouldn't have put him up on the counter while it was hot. I felt the worst because I couldn't take away his pain and couldn't fix it with a kiss like his usual boo boos. 

For some reason this made me think of my former patients who've had painful procedures or cancer and how awful it must have been for those parents. To be  that helpless and to wish the pain onto yourself to spare your child. I think being a parent does give you some more empathy as a doctor, especially a pediatrician. So it makes you a better doctor. 

While Isaiah will have many more bumps and bruises and this was a minor incident, it made me thankful that he is healthy and healing well. 

From nursing strike to bottle strike

This girl is really loca. Now she refuses to take a bottle! Only drinking 3oz when I'm gone for a 9hr day. And only when Lolo feeds her. Today Michael couldn't get her to take anything. 6oz of breast milk wasted. Lucky for loca I forgot to put nursing pads on this am, leaked all over myself and had to run home to change. She's also lucky that I was working in sugar land and not our big NICU. Oh my! 

So it was a fluke.

Definitely has not repeated good solid sleeping since my last post. Today she won't sleep unless being held. I love holding and snuggling her but I need to do stuff. Like pee. Shower. Eat. Not to mention study. 

I tried to use the carrier which only worked for 15 minutes. At least I could eat breakfast. 

The rest of the day was like this. 

Probably jinxing it but...

Two nights ago Chloe has slept from 9pm - 5am, and last night 9am - 6am this morning! I listened at 4am the first night to see if she was breathing still. Lol. She stirs at around 1am. Before I would feed her and she would end up in our bed the rest of the night nursing every hour and half to 2 hours. Well 2 nights ago, I just turned on her swing since she had fallen asleep there and she went back to sleep! Yes, Chloe sleeps in the swing instead of her crib right now. Isaiah was the same way. Once she is old enough to self-soothe/cry it out, we'll make her sleep in her room in her crib. But for now, we'll take her sleeping wherever we can get it!

Chloe is 2 months

Just like her big brother was at this age, she is growing and gaining weight well. It's surprising how small Isaiah is considering he was pretty big and chunky the first few months of his life. 

Chloe is generally a happy girl unless she is hungry. She holds her head up well during tummy time. She is starting to coo when you talk to her. She always stares at her Kuya Isaiah. She loves to be held and prefers our bed to her rock and play or swing. She has only taken one short nap in her crib ever. I have a feeling she will be strong willed by how challenging she sometimes can be especially during her witching hours. She melts my heart even during the sleepless nights with her beautiful toothless smile. I love my little coco-nuts, my Chloe-girl, my Chlo-Chlo, my Chloe-love. 

Social smile

I am convinced the social smile develops to keep mamas sane through the sleepless nights. 

Chloe is reverse cycling. She will take the minimal amount of pumped breast milk during the day while I am at work and nurse all night. I was hoping that since I have a stretch of 4 days off that I could get her back to doing her long stretches of sleep at night. I doesn't seem to be working. Last night Chloe nursed at 8:30pm, 11:30pm, 2:00am, 5am, 6:30am. I think she also may have nursed at 3:30am but honestly can't remember. 

Mama is tired. 

Nursing strike

**my previous post was written yesterday. About the reverse cycling. Now it's the exact opposite.**

Chloe went on a nursing strike last night and this AM. Refusing to nurse even though I knew she was hungry. At 9pm she nursed fine. Woke up at midnight crying. Refused to latch on an nurse. Milk everywhere. Give her a paci and she passes out. 4:00am she is crying again. I know she is definitely hungry. Continues to refuse to nurse. Milk all over myself and the bed again. Michael forces her to take 2oz of pumped milk in a bottle. Passes out. Then wakes up at 6:30am. Crying. Upset. Offer the boob. She refuses. Takes the paci and falls asleep again. 9:30am. Wakes up. I know she is hungry. Won't nurse. Give her a pumped bottle. Takes 2oz. So a total of 4oz for over 12hrs. Not good. Examine her. Look in her ears but my otoscope sucks. Take her to an urgent care.  Wait an hour to be seen. Luckily they don't make us wait in the waiting room since she is so young. We wait in a room. I try to nurse her again. Still refusing. See a doctor who is trying to convince me that she needs IV fluids. I decide to try to nurse her one more time. She latches immediately and nurses. She get a flu swab and a urine cath to check for a uti. She is really upset so I offer the other boob. And she latches again and nurses just fine. 

Maybe she is coming down with something. Maybe she doesn't feel well. Or maybe she is just LOCA. Coco-NUTS! When we got home she nursed fine again when she woke up. But the next time she woke up, she refused to nurse for 5mins before I finally shoved most of my boob on her mouth. I think this is going to be a LONG night...